04 Mar, 2008

Here’s what we analytical type people do with their spare time: 

Today I received an e-mail with an “unbelievable math problem” in it.  It told me to “grab a calculator” because I wouldn’t be able to do it in my head.  Actually, if I had a piece of paper, a pencil, and a little bit of time, I wouldn’t need the calculator.  Here’s the text of the e-mail:

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. 

1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your  head)

2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code) 

3. Multiply by 80

4. Add 1 

5. Multiply by 250

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number 

7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.

8. Subtract 250 

9. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer? 

Okay, so let’s write it out and see what we get.  We’ll call the first three digits of your phone number “a” and the last four digits “b”.  So we’ve got:

(250(80a+1)+2b-250)/2 

Let’s clean that up by multiplying the 250 times the 80a+1…

(20000a+250+2b-250)/2 

Well, the +250 and the -250 cancel each other out, so:

(20000a+2b)/2 

And if we divide by 2…

10000a+b 

Since a = the first three digits of your phone number, (let’s say 555), 10000a would equal 5550000.  Remember, you just put the zeroes at the end and put your original number at the beginning or something like that.  Then when you add b, the last four digits of your phone number (say 9999), you get 5559999.

Yeah, I wasn’t stumped.  Mrs. Headley would be proud.

14 Feb, 2008

- When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

- Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

- When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.

- Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

- Take naps and stretch before rising.

- Run, romp, and play daily.

- Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

- Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.

- On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

- On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.

- When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

- No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make friends.

- Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

- Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

- Be loyal.

- Never pretend to be something you're not.

- If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

- When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

16 Nov, 2007

Just a quick blog dropping to say "Happy Thanksgiving!"

In other news, I've shaved most of my beard off which I was growing in the name of Stage 3 water restrictions.  I've gone now to Stage 2 and I'm only leaving the goatee.

I've been getting lots of spam comments on teh blog, so y'all e-mail me if you have any comments.  Or leave it on my MySpace or my Facebook.   Or...keep it to yourself.  Especially if it's mean.

Speaking of mean, I'm getting lots of spam in the Gmail account, as well.  Mostly for watches, or for things I can do to, well, for instance "reveal my man potence."  What I really want to know is...where do they think I'm wearing my watch?

See y'all, and be thankful!

02 Oct, 2007

Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules" from the female side, now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note: these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can-to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can-to give them a bigger laugh.

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20 Mar, 2007

Do ya remember that episode of Grey's Anatomy where the big buildup was, "Tell the charge nurse that we have a code black"? I went to work the next day thinking, "Holy moly! What is a code black?"

Well, here a code black means a utility or communication system failure. Since I didn't watch the show, I was wondering if perhaps the computer got unplugged from the network, or his pager didn't work or something.

ABC (not Clarissa) explains it all...

Oh, anyways...I can't get to my voicemail right now. Bummer, eh?

(A code orange or a code purple would have been much more exciting...)
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20 Oct, 2006

I wish I had a waterproof computer so I could blog in the shower. That's when I come up with so much good material. I come up with songs, sermons, advice...all my good thoughts are had either in the shower or on the toilet.

Why can't people learn to drive? It was foggy yesterday so I decided not to take the freeway. My mirrors aren't stable enough so I could have actually seen whether or not it was safe to merge into oncoming traffic anyway, and the fog would have complicated that. Just on the other side of the ghetto are some fairly decent apartments. Just beyond that are some really nice apartments! You go Durham! Our city has some beautiful architecture. If only we could keep the rifraff out...

I love steak. I particularly like the New York Strip. I had that for lunch, actually. No, it wasn't the most expensive thing on the menu. I'm past that phase in life. I get saddened when the end of the fiscal year is several months away and we are told that our food budget has been spent.

I was going to put a quote in from a famous comedian who died from conditions related to extended drug use. There's a lot of those guys, so I don't know what to plug into google to come up with the correct response.

This makes tons of sense...


I read that you should take the last fifteen minutes of your workday to tie up any loose ends and clean up your work area. Apparently, they expect you to start the day with a clean desk.

Oh well...I gotta clean my desk!
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27 Mar, 2006

Lemme tell ya a bit about the categories here...

I separated things out between my side of the family (The Whites), and Shanda's side of the family (The Williamses). I could break it on down, but being somewhat of a genealogy buff, I realize that it would never end! I mean, I could have the Meltons, the Whitfields, the Whitefields, the Moores, the Duncans, the Gentrys, the Whitefields, the Whitfields...I guess the one upside to my family is that I wouldn't have as many categories as most people. I probably didn't want to put that on a blog for all the world to read.

Anyhow, to simplify things, if they're related to me directly, they'll be under The Whites. If they're related to Shanda directly, they'll be under The Williamses.

(Not to mention the fact that my mother-in-law's mother was a White...that explains so much....)
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